home again...what? we've been robbed???

I have returned home from an amazing journey across the US. 26 states and 3 countries in our rental ford freestar. When we get back at o dark hundred... we settle down and pass out after shaking off the constant vibration in our bodies that now seems to be permanent. Upon our awakening, we find that our quiet little home has been disrupted. We have been robbed, no forced entry, not our whole home and all it's effects but all of our dvd's and my son's video games as well as our friends dvds and video games. We had taken a few with us, so what was taken was deliberate, so as not to take empty boxes. I asked my friend, who I had left the key with if she knew anything about it and she knew nothing and had seen nothing. Before we left this person had asked to stay a few days and was supposed to be gone before we were, yet upon the time to leave things were not working out as she had anticipated and we were off. She was supposed to leave a key with my house sitter but ended up telling her she was moving in and I knew about it. So much deception was already happening and we knew of none of it. Stories were coming back about the condition of our home and yet, despite all of this... the person at my home has been a friend for many years and never would i think she would harm me. Veering away from al the specifics, I will break it down for you... trusted friend, moves in, on her own volition, makes me believe she is homeless, jobless and kicked out of her residence and I am trying to be compassionate... so I lend a hand. Now there are police reports to fill out, investigators to speak with, charges to press and lesson to learn. I am advised my the offficer I filed the report with to have a hard heart and not show compassion for the world in which we live in is callus and I will always be the victim. I tell him that I cannot live my life like that. A life without heart is not worth living, to me. I know we have been the target of another's poor intentions but a victim... i don't think so. The situation is painful and sucks but it certainly has lessons for all involved and we all have the opportunity to learn from this, if we so desire. Or, the other option is to say, "Poor me, why me....why...why...why...life is not fair...etc..." NO! life is not fair, fair doesn't enter the equation but in every situation we do have the opportunity to choose our perceptions and what we derive from our situations. It makes me sad when my son wants to see a dvd or play a video game and it has been pawned and I have been through the different levels of emotion, but i have to stop and realize there are lessons for him too. He actually is taking it pretty well, no tears but kind of matter of fact, "oh, yeah... it was stolen". To date, there is no conclusive proof that the friend "did" it but I find it hard to believe she didn't know anything about it or do it. She has looked me in the eyes on several occasion with no remorse and lied to me, so I am at a place where I believe nothing that comes out of her mouth. She either did it or had a hand in it. She was the only one here that had the time, motive and ability to do so... with the exception of the friends she allowed in the home. SO now I have to press charges against someone I care about because I HAVE TO!!! I can't enable people to continue to hurt others. Life will no doubt become more interesting as information comes in. The immediate information that has come to me already is nauseating and yet necessary for closure and to help me not feel remorse for pressing charges. I had believed in her character and was shown differently and I am not that easily fooled. I usually read people's energy very well and yet... this was allowed to happen, which further endorses my belief that it is purposeful and to be learned from.

on that note, i dug this up in my journal
November 01, 2003 - 07:29 PM
rose

I consider a rose ... this is a flower we attribute with love, passion, tenderness ... yet if you look closely it is a thorny branch, very painful if you get too close. if you look closer there is the tiny tender bud waiting to unfold an amazing creation. as it matures it's perfect. soft ... fragrant.. petals await to engage you ... eventually the petals will fall and dry and go away.... yet the beauty of the rose, the moment of it's engaging presence leaves it's memory.... yet physically, all that is left is the thorny branch.... but in the garden of my soul among all the thorny branches are always new buds of tenderness, passion, compassion, connection
and I seek to notice them and tend to them so they might flourish and unfold their magnificent gifts