June 12, 2005 on the road in texas
I am reflecting life with a cup of coffee…' pondering my sore back and still neck in a tub made of Epsom salts and a glorious bath mix I got from this awesome little store in San Francisco. As I lay there and tried to soak my body loose, I was drawn to my meditative state, which was well needed. It seems for me that in effort to “do” I forget my ability to BE as well. My resounding lesson for this year at least has been that I need to have faith. I am conscious and in control of my awareness. I have choices in they way I believe, and perceive, my surroundings. I have constant instruction and lessons that are available to me when I listen and take the time to be open to my world of possibilities. I can only really me responsible for the way I view my world, for it is unique to only me. I don’t think it’s wrong to share our experiences of faith yet I believe it is folly to try to convert another to my beliefs. How can I assume that I am any more worthy of a title or authority to instruct them in how to perceive their own faith? The world we share is that of community connected by thought, or spirit if you will, however you term it, it comes down to energy. At least in my world it does. Energy breaks down into static and movement and when they connect there is a reaction resulting in movement. It creates a reaction that spurs more energy off into different directions to create new moments of static and movement and so on and so on. On the level of human existence that I can perceive. We are all dual in nature, we represent the whole. We are bound by perceptions of liitations that are passed on to us as truths and we adopt them as our own. Why? It is perhaps easier to accept another’s concepts if they sound pleasing enough and not have to go through the “pain” of finding out your own truths. We try to avoid pain so generally, it’s much more of an option to choose a more pleasing and comfortable path. And there is nothing wrong with that. Pain is necessary to the process of growth, it not the only experience available but it is what is the catalyst to growth. It is up to us how we choose to perceive pain, and what we do with the result of it. Now if either of these experiences is off balance, it will lead to destruction, which is necessary for rebirth. I have taken other routes in life and they were right for then but not for now. This moment is unique and right here and holds it’s own resources for new experience. Every experience will have its cycles and opportunities to create more energy. In all these cycles, painful, happy, and full of all the scope of emotions that will serve to teach me more about the connection between my physical reality and my conscious reality. I feel responsibility to listen to my intuition. It is as just as much apart of me as my physical body, and likewise, I pay attention to my physical body as it point my in the direction of my spiritual body and it’s resource of power and energy in the manifestation of my it’s existence. If I listen to my body it will tell me of places I need to focus on in my spiritual reality to bring more balance of my polarites. If I listen to my spiritual body, it will tell me areas in my physical body that need more focus and energy to restore balance. It is my own yet part of many. I believe that without limitation, we are universal and ONE made of static and flow. I cannot separate myself from my existence. I am experiencing a physical reality and learning how to live in that reality so on the balance, I also experience my spirit reality or conscious realities and the result of their merging is a charge emitting more energy. And it goes on and on until it doesn’t. But to keep the balance, it does, the realities only change to a new experience. Each new experience is necessary; they all hold their own purpose.
