June 12th 2005 (original post)
Still in Forth worth heading for the zoo, our Texas stay has been quite the long one so far. I am anticipating leaving despite the fact that I adore Amy and Brian and their kids. Christian is having fun playing with some kids his own age as well. They are just the coolest of people! Nonetheless I am getting ancy about heading west. It is a strange feeling to be out of civilization en mass, a tighter bond is created with your present community (family) and you tend to be prone to be happy together. I am happy with my family no matter where we are but when all the obstacles of society are removed, the TV, the radio…all of what modern technology has for us to “keep connected” you tend to cleave to one another for enjoyment. Those advances in our technological world tend to serve as distractions and separate us. The ability to just BE is much harder and the desire to DO is much stronger.
Later…
We left the zoo and just ate at Macaroni Grille. We had a wonderful meal and now we are all stuffed. The kids had some gift certificates that their dad had given them so it made eating for 5 and getting stuffed affordable…still on this blasted budget J We all were ridiculously hungry and thirsty after 1 ½ hours at the zoo. It is very hot in mid day Texas; I seriously wouldn’t doubt the potential of frying an egg on the pavement. I did get a lot of nice pics of the animals panting. They were so obviously hot. In one respect, it is awesome to have the wild so attainable and up close and safe from being in harms way. I was viewing the white Bengal tigers through the heavy Plexiglas, actually I was coming around the corner and saw the two tigers from a distance hanging out with one another. In something I would describe as a split second, one tiger had spotted me and came lunging toward the window. A moment ago it was wayyyy over there, the next, it was right in my face. I didn’t get the feeling that it was coming over to say “hi” or get it’s picture taken, this was a predatory lunge. I was saying my thanks to the wonders of thick Plexiglas or whatever separated me from emanate doom. I wasn’t freaked about it, just noted that this tiger was operating on an instinct… it saw me through the clear glass and was going for it. I am glad it still had that instinct and hadn’t been completely jaded to the zoo experience. Although having the “wild” so attainable it does sadden me that we have plagued the earth with such fervor that it’s other inhabitants have to live behind restrictive barriers and their natural ways altered for our convenience…. very similar to how we treated the Native Americans. It was bizarre to see the same inhabitants in the zoo that we did in the wild. I actually killed a baby scorpion that was crawling on Scotty’s collar, sorry fella… we don’t need no stinking scorpion bites and you were heading for the neck… R.I.P…. It seems we have been in Texas forever and yet is has been a week +. It is so incredibly large. the first day we headed out, we were in four states and now we are in Texas a week has flown by. It’s 106 degrees and it’s 7 pm, it was probably 120 degrees earlier today. We are heading to New Mexico tonight. Christian has befriended Amy and Brian’s kids and one of them is 8, as he is, and they have very similar personalities… they have dubbed one another as twins, interestingly enough Amy and I feel the same about each other.. who knew? We just pulled off the most phenomenal shoot of the four elements. It is another milestone achievement that I feel wicked cool about! For the record, Texas IS the land of donuts! I have never, in my life seen so many donut shops… kind of like coffee shops in Seattle!
for more pics go here
http://www.flickr.com/photos/barbee/sets/637921/
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Ego let God out of the box
Ego is our teacher, without it we have no limitations… without limitations, all things are possible. Ego is necessary to teach us worth, value and uniqueness. However, if we decide to offset our strive for the balance of polarities then we will not learn what is needed to learn from our teacher. Look at the patterns we keep creating or “the things that keep happening to us” whether we create them or they just keep showing up, when you take notice, you can find out what each situation hold for you to extract the marrow. When there is an absence of limitation, all things exist as ONE. It is God, out of the box. We try and constrain that concept, yet I AM … IS… no exclusions. SO ego is here to serve us yet if we serve it, we offset the balance… more pain… more suffering,until… you get it.
The great american journey :)
Original date:
June 10th, 2005
After many mini dramas and obstacles we left at @ 1 am and entered Panama City Florida @ 8 am. We did however gain an hour and couldn't get in to Falling Waters park for another hour. The park was home of Florida's largest waterfall. Evidently it was quite large but we didn’t stay long enough to see what it really had to offer. I believe that at least half the crew had anticipation about this journey and a Florida park with mosquitoes and pine trees wasn't holding much excitement. When we started this trip I proclaimed that the only "plan" was to be in Dallas by the 10th for the shoot. That was my only obligation. I wanted to be able to just go with the flow and see where it took us, be open to all possibilities. An interesting observation with this concept is that everyone still has their own expectations and understandings about what's going on and what they want to do. The most vocal usually wins out and that usually leaves the least vocal, irritated or cheated. We are all ( 5people) learning important lessons in communication. We are learning how to assert what we want to do and listen to another's desires as well, then come up with a democratic solution which still requires a certain amount of sacrifice somewhere along the way. Democracy is not always the best solution when all people are not voting. We traveled four states in less than 24 hours: Florida, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. We breezed through the French Quarter, bought some post cards, took pictures and then went to Baton Rouge and camped in Tickfaw State Park. We were set up about an hour and already eating dinner. I had driven most of the early part of the trip, through the night and early Am. Night driving is more my bag and I had my ADHD med to keep me focused and not in my own little lala land. Yet, when we finally settled at the end of 24 hours and I had not slept or eaten, I was in meltdown mode. My heart was racing, my body was pissed off at the misuse and the message was clear "EAT AND PARK YOUR BUTT ON THE COT AND TAP A NAP!" Eventually I leveled out and I was listening to all the frogs signing... and I was telling Heather how cool it was to drive through huge fields of fireflies... when Scotty came in to the tent to get us. He insisted that we come outside and escorted us into the black forest canopy and it was aglow with sparkling lights like a well strung Christmas tree. To me, it seemed as if I was in a magical forest or a scene from Ferngully and fairies were converging everywhere! There were also occasional flashes of lightening to further increase the dramatic effect. Pinpoints of light would pop in and out of existence and the sky would flash. We got up and grabbed a bite to eat at our campfire and headed to Lafayette. Once there, we ate @ Prejeans and had the traditional Cajun Cuisine which was sumptuous. We sat in the car trying to plot out our next adventure. The deal is... it's great to be in the moment and just go but we have a SUPER limited budget, so little things like "where do we sleep" are things to consider. Still have not gotten our IRS return and waiting on a check from a henna client. W/O those monies, it makes it much more of a challenge to be spontaneous. We have had a few moments of frustrating communication failure, but looking at the whole picture, I think we are all happy to be where we are. We all feel fortunate to have the opportunity and love one another. We are driving in a Ford freestar together for two months and that... in itself is quite a challenge, one that we are all up to tackle. It's all good. I am enjoying being with my family, seeing new sights and gaining new experience!
June 10th, 2005
After many mini dramas and obstacles we left at @ 1 am and entered Panama City Florida @ 8 am. We did however gain an hour and couldn't get in to Falling Waters park for another hour. The park was home of Florida's largest waterfall. Evidently it was quite large but we didn’t stay long enough to see what it really had to offer. I believe that at least half the crew had anticipation about this journey and a Florida park with mosquitoes and pine trees wasn't holding much excitement. When we started this trip I proclaimed that the only "plan" was to be in Dallas by the 10th for the shoot. That was my only obligation. I wanted to be able to just go with the flow and see where it took us, be open to all possibilities. An interesting observation with this concept is that everyone still has their own expectations and understandings about what's going on and what they want to do. The most vocal usually wins out and that usually leaves the least vocal, irritated or cheated. We are all ( 5people) learning important lessons in communication. We are learning how to assert what we want to do and listen to another's desires as well, then come up with a democratic solution which still requires a certain amount of sacrifice somewhere along the way. Democracy is not always the best solution when all people are not voting. We traveled four states in less than 24 hours: Florida, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. We breezed through the French Quarter, bought some post cards, took pictures and then went to Baton Rouge and camped in Tickfaw State Park. We were set up about an hour and already eating dinner. I had driven most of the early part of the trip, through the night and early Am. Night driving is more my bag and I had my ADHD med to keep me focused and not in my own little lala land. Yet, when we finally settled at the end of 24 hours and I had not slept or eaten, I was in meltdown mode. My heart was racing, my body was pissed off at the misuse and the message was clear "EAT AND PARK YOUR BUTT ON THE COT AND TAP A NAP!" Eventually I leveled out and I was listening to all the frogs signing... and I was telling Heather how cool it was to drive through huge fields of fireflies... when Scotty came in to the tent to get us. He insisted that we come outside and escorted us into the black forest canopy and it was aglow with sparkling lights like a well strung Christmas tree. To me, it seemed as if I was in a magical forest or a scene from Ferngully and fairies were converging everywhere! There were also occasional flashes of lightening to further increase the dramatic effect. Pinpoints of light would pop in and out of existence and the sky would flash. We got up and grabbed a bite to eat at our campfire and headed to Lafayette. Once there, we ate @ Prejeans and had the traditional Cajun Cuisine which was sumptuous. We sat in the car trying to plot out our next adventure. The deal is... it's great to be in the moment and just go but we have a SUPER limited budget, so little things like "where do we sleep" are things to consider. Still have not gotten our IRS return and waiting on a check from a henna client. W/O those monies, it makes it much more of a challenge to be spontaneous. We have had a few moments of frustrating communication failure, but looking at the whole picture, I think we are all happy to be where we are. We all feel fortunate to have the opportunity and love one another. We are driving in a Ford freestar together for two months and that... in itself is quite a challenge, one that we are all up to tackle. It's all good. I am enjoying being with my family, seeing new sights and gaining new experience!
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