i am rushing around today trying to get out for an appointment and it seems that things are popping up in my way to get me out the door, so I bump into a box loaded with austrian crystals and they dumpallover my floor all assorted sized, which of course is making me later, fortunately instead of stressing, I laugh and bend down to pick them up.As i am picking them up, i realize my lesson today is to not stress about the current obstacles or the how am i going to do this, but to drop expectations, led be the ego and out my energy in the present moment. Put your energy in what is at hand,and be assured that the next moment,if afforded will provide it's own sulotions, but the more we try to bustle and mold the current now to suit our "i" needs, the more obstalces and dissapointment we will encounter... slow down, breathe and live the moment
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Monday, August 29, 2005
bing and jae key west wedding memories
this is my friend bing and myself
he is dynamic, amazing energy
gilled with passion, love, life, laughter and exuberence
everytime we meet, which is only on occaision, we both just embrace, jump up and down and gutterly scream with glee
such old souls, such a connection
joy
he is dynamic, amazing energy
gilled with passion, love, life, laughter and exuberence
everytime we meet, which is only on occaision, we both just embrace, jump up and down and gutterly scream with glee
such old souls, such a connection
joy
insane
i just ran across this photo taken of me last year in key west... we were down there for a wedding and SO out of control! we gotin trouble EVERYWHERE!! we got in trouble in this sam outdoor cafe for spilling water on each other....SPILLING WATER!!! IN KEY WEST!!!/????? WHAT THE????? anyway i met some wonderful people,and those relationships have maintained and i am so thankful for that whole story.... I still remember how incredibly hard I laughed the entire time we were there, can't remember laughing that hard since. The funny thing is, that there was also some reallypainful garbagethat I was going through at the same time and yet I still remember this part of it as what sticks out in my mind. I got through the pain and garbage and in the end all was better than alright...so my lesson today is.... all will be alright:)
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Katrina
this is heading toward louisiana right now and it is blowing me away,pardon the pun.
we got hit a few times last year and i had to get my family out when i was touring.
a repost from last august...
soooo... henna this week on tour, someting has died in the car, we have to have a search and destroy mission...the breaks are metal on metal and that is not good considering we have to drive to IL, in a few days...no news on what the back up plan is, argh if we have to try to carpool, that may send my pregnant henna sister to a whole new level of hormonally insane, be very afraid...simon...very afraid.... i saved the hotel clerk, i can only do so much, i am one woman......I DID.... get my mom the last flight out of orlando and a hotel room in dc, so she is safe and i spent 4 hours doing so, my son and hubby are in a barely crawling parking lot (aka highway) trying to get out of town because armegeddon is headed toward our home... and the cats have peed and pooped in the car, so, you might say, this week has has it own special surprises...still.. got family and friends and cats hanging at the suite and soon it will be time to be off to IL... I have a bit of insomnia tonight, as well as every night,I have a good attitude about this storm business and am happy I was able to get friends and famly out, but yet my other two kids are in west palm and my daughte called me at 2;00 a bit scared and not able to sleep and i tried to assure her that the universe had got her back and she is way to important to have anything happen to her, and i loved her with all my heart! This strom is crazy as it is taking 2/3 days to pass through, and it is just as strong , just really slow moving, some major psychologial damage going on with that, even if the red sea does part and my house is ok, the rest of the city will be toast and unlivable, so i am really considering relocating, don't know where yet, but we will se where the wind takes us... so to speak...
this could be written by anyone... and yet it was by me and i understand that sense of crazy that you are plagued with... when I did return home my city, which hadn't gotten the worst of it, was in shambles and looked like it was war torn, my friend's house was completely blown away, she actually just moved in her new mobile home today. New orleans is not the cleanest city around so imagine all the pollutants, even just the contains of one's bathroom, detergents, cleaners, paints, will be a new toxic wasteland. I tell you the conspiritorists that say the weather is controlled to jack up gas etc... as crazy as it sounds, doesn't sound so crazy. How can you poke holes in the atmosphere and not affect it? Alas, those questions may not be answered but the true looming threat of big change and cleansing is afoot... i send solace to you New Orleans and safety and love.
we got hit a few times last year and i had to get my family out when i was touring.
a repost from last august...
soooo... henna this week on tour, someting has died in the car, we have to have a search and destroy mission...the breaks are metal on metal and that is not good considering we have to drive to IL, in a few days...no news on what the back up plan is, argh if we have to try to carpool, that may send my pregnant henna sister to a whole new level of hormonally insane, be very afraid...simon...very afraid.... i saved the hotel clerk, i can only do so much, i am one woman......I DID.... get my mom the last flight out of orlando and a hotel room in dc, so she is safe and i spent 4 hours doing so, my son and hubby are in a barely crawling parking lot (aka highway) trying to get out of town because armegeddon is headed toward our home... and the cats have peed and pooped in the car, so, you might say, this week has has it own special surprises...still.. got family and friends and cats hanging at the suite and soon it will be time to be off to IL... I have a bit of insomnia tonight, as well as every night,I have a good attitude about this storm business and am happy I was able to get friends and famly out, but yet my other two kids are in west palm and my daughte called me at 2;00 a bit scared and not able to sleep and i tried to assure her that the universe had got her back and she is way to important to have anything happen to her, and i loved her with all my heart! This strom is crazy as it is taking 2/3 days to pass through, and it is just as strong , just really slow moving, some major psychologial damage going on with that, even if the red sea does part and my house is ok, the rest of the city will be toast and unlivable, so i am really considering relocating, don't know where yet, but we will se where the wind takes us... so to speak...
this could be written by anyone... and yet it was by me and i understand that sense of crazy that you are plagued with... when I did return home my city, which hadn't gotten the worst of it, was in shambles and looked like it was war torn, my friend's house was completely blown away, she actually just moved in her new mobile home today. New orleans is not the cleanest city around so imagine all the pollutants, even just the contains of one's bathroom, detergents, cleaners, paints, will be a new toxic wasteland. I tell you the conspiritorists that say the weather is controlled to jack up gas etc... as crazy as it sounds, doesn't sound so crazy. How can you poke holes in the atmosphere and not affect it? Alas, those questions may not be answered but the true looming threat of big change and cleansing is afoot... i send solace to you New Orleans and safety and love.
post one, yup the first one!
ok, i have started, here goes...welcome!!! through my little journey i will be taking you back and forth in time and adding pics to go along with entries. this is for a book that will be published and it's purpose is to bring our community together by letting the world inside our lives for just a month.the journal will continue past a month but a months worth of journaling will be passed on to the next person... i will fill you in with specifics, later.... the point is to allow us to peek and relate or not relate but to understand how we are alike as a community despite our known differences.so here goes... you are welcome to comment, but please keep the vibe positive, there is enough negativity abounding, this project is to find positive resolve or encouragement...
namaste
b
namaste
b
playa caps
I needed some levity after this whole robbery thing and when I stayed in melbourne, driving around, listening to the new black eyed pea album, i noticed these tires and it was just too perfect! I had my friend back up so I could take a picture and in that picture I got this great rflection of the the street... a picture inside a picture. Even in it's humor I recognized that it was evident, that yes, I had been played but I needed to see the picture inside the picture and remember to laugh :)
Friday, August 26, 2005
me, done surfin
I surfed for the first time and was so excited! My friend and I had a henna gig which has promising results for oodles of cash "Teen Fest" but which yeilded very little. We got out late $20 in hand and I stayed in Melbourne with her.I was taking pictures, as usual and they urged me to come try out the surfing thing. I put my camera down and got on the boadr, the high performance boad to boot and before I knew it, i was surfing! NO WAY! I actually was surfing! I grew up on the beach in a condo 13 stories up in the air for much of my life and had been taken under the water a few times too many so I had some drowning fears and fear of hights etc, but i did it and I was SOOOO addicted! I figured, if I lived on the beach again, I would want to surf EVERYDAY!!! and would probably do little elese! It also is quite a workout and in this pic I was spent! You use so many of your muscle groups and it takes a lot of energy to keep paddleing out and to manage your board over the oncoming waves. My stomach muscles got quite a workout, i got a few bruises, not from falling but getting on the board. Nothing hurt, it was amazing! I got as far as hands and feet riding the waves in but didn't quite make it fully standing on just two feet, with no hands. I wanted to master it and go pro ;) but I was just too exhausted! I just wanted to go take a shower and lay down! UNtil the next time!!!
Friday, August 19, 2005
home again...what? we've been robbed???
I have returned home from an amazing journey across the US. 26 states and 3 countries in our rental ford freestar. When we get back at o dark hundred... we settle down and pass out after shaking off the constant vibration in our bodies that now seems to be permanent. Upon our awakening, we find that our quiet little home has been disrupted. We have been robbed, no forced entry, not our whole home and all it's effects but all of our dvd's and my son's video games as well as our friends dvds and video games. We had taken a few with us, so what was taken was deliberate, so as not to take empty boxes. I asked my friend, who I had left the key with if she knew anything about it and she knew nothing and had seen nothing. Before we left this person had asked to stay a few days and was supposed to be gone before we were, yet upon the time to leave things were not working out as she had anticipated and we were off. She was supposed to leave a key with my house sitter but ended up telling her she was moving in and I knew about it. So much deception was already happening and we knew of none of it. Stories were coming back about the condition of our home and yet, despite all of this... the person at my home has been a friend for many years and never would i think she would harm me. Veering away from al the specifics, I will break it down for you... trusted friend, moves in, on her own volition, makes me believe she is homeless, jobless and kicked out of her residence and I am trying to be compassionate... so I lend a hand. Now there are police reports to fill out, investigators to speak with, charges to press and lesson to learn. I am advised my the offficer I filed the report with to have a hard heart and not show compassion for the world in which we live in is callus and I will always be the victim. I tell him that I cannot live my life like that. A life without heart is not worth living, to me. I know we have been the target of another's poor intentions but a victim... i don't think so. The situation is painful and sucks but it certainly has lessons for all involved and we all have the opportunity to learn from this, if we so desire. Or, the other option is to say, "Poor me, why me....why...why...why...life is not fair...etc..." NO! life is not fair, fair doesn't enter the equation but in every situation we do have the opportunity to choose our perceptions and what we derive from our situations. It makes me sad when my son wants to see a dvd or play a video game and it has been pawned and I have been through the different levels of emotion, but i have to stop and realize there are lessons for him too. He actually is taking it pretty well, no tears but kind of matter of fact, "oh, yeah... it was stolen". To date, there is no conclusive proof that the friend "did" it but I find it hard to believe she didn't know anything about it or do it. She has looked me in the eyes on several occasion with no remorse and lied to me, so I am at a place where I believe nothing that comes out of her mouth. She either did it or had a hand in it. She was the only one here that had the time, motive and ability to do so... with the exception of the friends she allowed in the home. SO now I have to press charges against someone I care about because I HAVE TO!!! I can't enable people to continue to hurt others. Life will no doubt become more interesting as information comes in. The immediate information that has come to me already is nauseating and yet necessary for closure and to help me not feel remorse for pressing charges. I had believed in her character and was shown differently and I am not that easily fooled. I usually read people's energy very well and yet... this was allowed to happen, which further endorses my belief that it is purposeful and to be learned from.
on that note, i dug this up in my journal
November 01, 2003 - 07:29 PM
rose
I consider a rose ... this is a flower we attribute with love, passion, tenderness ... yet if you look closely it is a thorny branch, very painful if you get too close. if you look closer there is the tiny tender bud waiting to unfold an amazing creation. as it matures it's perfect. soft ... fragrant.. petals await to engage you ... eventually the petals will fall and dry and go away.... yet the beauty of the rose, the moment of it's engaging presence leaves it's memory.... yet physically, all that is left is the thorny branch.... but in the garden of my soul among all the thorny branches are always new buds of tenderness, passion, compassion, connection
and I seek to notice them and tend to them so they might flourish and unfold their magnificent gifts
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
whitney's back...in action
this is my first henna tattoo after a long hiatus. I was nervous because I hadn't been drawing for several months but I had a call and needed to get those chops back up so I not feel so uneasy about accepting a job :) I know I have it in me and I know I will bring creative energy to the table when called to, yet I start that doubting my ablitites thing and then start to trip and question whether I have any talent at all. In this world of what have you done for me lately, I sometimes feel a fraud and that I will soon be discovered for my inablities. Not that I am copying another's work but that mine is really not good enough to be valuable. I then have to move on from that idea and remember that it doesn't matter who likes it or gets it but that I am expressing my creative energy... and then you know.... bizarre stuff comes in and people end up validating me, or tell me I inspire them.... and then I feel that if I can inspre just one person to express.... I have done my job.... until the next moment of self doubt, then the cycle begins again :)
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