Sunday, September 11, 2005

Saturday, September 10, 2005

meet the artist


meet the artist
Originally uploaded by barbee.
my interview for orlando city beat came out today.
it was nicely done.
it is nice when positive news makes it and when people care enough about what other people are doing and write about it and read it, connection is nice.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

don't tell me nonsense

on someone questioning your worth based on their perception of what is valuable.....
it doesn't matter, to me.... whether or not i make sense to you ...whether you understand my life or purpose .... i know who i am, what i have to offer...and how i relate to my community.... i know how i relate, by communication..... regardless... we all have our own perceptions and our own lessons..which cannot be confused with another's

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

valley of dehydration


valley of dehydration
Originally uploaded by barbee.
I had just driven all night while the rest of the fam tried to catch some winks in the car and we arrived at the petrified forest right as it opened. I reall had no idea what to expect. I did have a few small petrified logs at home and knew what that meant, but I was not prepared for what i was to see. I somehow was expecting a forest of standing trees that where petrifed, and by that no.... i don'tmean afraid!:)
what I saw was mind boggling, we wandered around as the morning sun glared on the bright, reflective surface. e ground was so hot, that the asphalt had melted under the car tires. The park was huge! it consisted of vast desert, the "badlands" and miles and miles of petrified wood. The wood has actually turned to stone and you can view so many levels of color. The mountains had covered forests and buried them and as they lay hidden from the outside world, they fossilized and actually crystalized and turned to glorious shades of stone. As the mountains erode they would yeild gifts of stone that would roll down the mountain and split open to show it's slpendor. On the top of the mountains, you can see into the painted desert and seea pleete of outrageous colors. I went down in the basin of the mountains and there felt this overwhlming sense of being surrounded. It's wasn't a bad feeling but more of a feeling of the ancients in the misdt. I simply could not get enough photographs and was running around taking pictures as fast as I could. It soon dawned on me that I was fully clothed in a jacket and hat, as I was pretty sunburned and didn't want to have blisters, and that I was alone. I was ok with that but the fact that I was running and didn't have any water with me, I started to come to my current reality and that was, I was WAY dehydrated and had a long way to go to get back up to the car. I heard voices but no people were there, I felt conversations from the mountains surrounding me. I told myself that regardless of the fact my heart was racing, I was overheated and dehydrated, I simply had to make it back. I started to slow down and focus on my breathing and set my will and determination on destination, CAR! When I did return, nobody in my family knew what was going on with me and Scotty came up to meet me and I literally could not speak, just breathe. I got back to the freestar and ripped off my coverings and poured bottles of cold water on my head and started driking like an enormous dried sponge in a rainstorm. When I finally regained my strength and voice I had to laugh at myself. I was invincable! runniong in the desert???? who the??? what the??? i was a bad ass in the bad lands ;)
well, until i almost passed out. I learned to always have water after that and not be fooled by the dry desert heat, it will sneak up, even on super heros!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

found this today


=(
Originally uploaded by Umm_ELdwais.
saaw this photo and just had to save it, sometimes, the why needs to be figured out... sometimes the why will unfold into a story of lessons available for everyone to learn from, who will accept that call, who will ask questions deep within themselves and find out what they must learn, who will step aside from their ego and know there is always more to learn and more chances to evolve? i can be that who.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

us


us
Originally uploaded by Rosie O'Donnell.
what an amazing shot of two people with very strong dynamic, and free spirit
namaste you two :)
barbee

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

slow down, you move to fast now...


DSCN3780
Originally uploaded by barbee.
i am rushing around today trying to get out for an appointment and it seems that things are popping up in my way to get me out the door, so I bump into a box loaded with austrian crystals and they dumpallover my floor all assorted sized, which of course is making me later, fortunately instead of stressing, I laugh and bend down to pick them up.As i am picking them up, i realize my lesson today is to not stress about the current obstacles or the how am i going to do this, but to drop expectations, led be the ego and out my energy in the present moment. Put your energy in what is at hand,and be assured that the next moment,if afforded will provide it's own sulotions, but the more we try to bustle and mold the current now to suit our "i" needs, the more obstalces and dissapointment we will encounter... slow down, breathe and live the moment

Racism


Racism
Originally uploaded by dustin3000.
sad

Monday, August 29, 2005

bing and jae key west wedding memories

this is my friend bing and myself
he is dynamic, amazing energy
gilled with passion, love, life, laughter and exuberence
everytime we meet, which is only on occaision, we both just embrace, jump up and down and gutterly scream with glee
such old souls, such a connection
joy

insane


insane
Originally uploaded by barbee.
i just ran across this photo taken of me last year in key west... we were down there for a wedding and SO out of control! we gotin trouble EVERYWHERE!! we got in trouble in this sam outdoor cafe for spilling water on each other....SPILLING WATER!!! IN KEY WEST!!!/????? WHAT THE????? anyway i met some wonderful people,and those relationships have maintained and i am so thankful for that whole story.... I still remember how incredibly hard I laughed the entire time we were there, can't remember laughing that hard since. The funny thing is, that there was also some reallypainful garbagethat I was going through at the same time and yet I still remember this part of it as what sticks out in my mind. I got through the pain and garbage and in the end all was better than alright...so my lesson today is.... all will be alright:)

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Katrina


Katrina
Originally uploaded by DJOG.
this is heading toward louisiana right now and it is blowing me away,pardon the pun.
we got hit a few times last year and i had to get my family out when i was touring.
a repost from last august...
soooo... henna this week on tour, someting has died in the car, we have to have a search and destroy mission...the breaks are metal on metal and that is not good considering we have to drive to IL, in a few days...no news on what the back up plan is, argh if we have to try to carpool, that may send my pregnant henna sister to a whole new level of hormonally insane, be very afraid...simon...very afraid.... i saved the hotel clerk, i can only do so much, i am one woman......I DID.... get my mom the last flight out of orlando and a hotel room in dc, so she is safe and i spent 4 hours doing so, my son and hubby are in a barely crawling parking lot (aka highway) trying to get out of town because armegeddon is headed toward our home... and the cats have peed and pooped in the car, so, you might say, this week has has it own special surprises...still.. got family and friends and cats hanging at the suite and soon it will be time to be off to IL... I have a bit of insomnia tonight, as well as every night,I have a good attitude about this storm business and am happy I was able to get friends and famly out, but yet my other two kids are in west palm and my daughte called me at 2;00 a bit scared and not able to sleep and i tried to assure her that the universe had got her back and she is way to important to have anything happen to her, and i loved her with all my heart! This strom is crazy as it is taking 2/3 days to pass through, and it is just as strong , just really slow moving, some major psychologial damage going on with that, even if the red sea does part and my house is ok, the rest of the city will be toast and unlivable, so i am really considering relocating, don't know where yet, but we will se where the wind takes us... so to speak...


this could be written by anyone... and yet it was by me and i understand that sense of crazy that you are plagued with... when I did return home my city, which hadn't gotten the worst of it, was in shambles and looked like it was war torn, my friend's house was completely blown away, she actually just moved in her new mobile home today. New orleans is not the cleanest city around so imagine all the pollutants, even just the contains of one's bathroom, detergents, cleaners, paints, will be a new toxic wasteland. I tell you the conspiritorists that say the weather is controlled to jack up gas etc... as crazy as it sounds, doesn't sound so crazy. How can you poke holes in the atmosphere and not affect it? Alas, those questions may not be answered but the true looming threat of big change and cleansing is afoot... i send solace to you New Orleans and safety and love.

post one, yup the first one!

ok, i have started, here goes...welcome!!! through my little journey i will be taking you back and forth in time and adding pics to go along with entries. this is for a book that will be published and it's purpose is to bring our community together by letting the world inside our lives for just a month.the journal will continue past a month but a months worth of journaling will be passed on to the next person... i will fill you in with specifics, later.... the point is to allow us to peek and relate or not relate but to understand how we are alike as a community despite our known differences.so here goes... you are welcome to comment, but please keep the vibe positive, there is enough negativity abounding, this project is to find positive resolve or encouragement...
namaste
b

playa caps


playa caps
Originally uploaded by barbee.
I needed some levity after this whole robbery thing and when I stayed in melbourne, driving around, listening to the new black eyed pea album, i noticed these tires and it was just too perfect! I had my friend back up so I could take a picture and in that picture I got this great rflection of the the street... a picture inside a picture. Even in it's humor I recognized that it was evident, that yes, I had been played but I needed to see the picture inside the picture and remember to laugh :)

Friday, August 26, 2005

me, done surfin


me, done surfin
Originally uploaded by barbee.
I surfed for the first time and was so excited! My friend and I had a henna gig which has promising results for oodles of cash "Teen Fest" but which yeilded very little. We got out late $20 in hand and I stayed in Melbourne with her.I was taking pictures, as usual and they urged me to come try out the surfing thing. I put my camera down and got on the boadr, the high performance boad to boot and before I knew it, i was surfing! NO WAY! I actually was surfing! I grew up on the beach in a condo 13 stories up in the air for much of my life and had been taken under the water a few times too many so I had some drowning fears and fear of hights etc, but i did it and I was SOOOO addicted! I figured, if I lived on the beach again, I would want to surf EVERYDAY!!! and would probably do little elese! It also is quite a workout and in this pic I was spent! You use so many of your muscle groups and it takes a lot of energy to keep paddleing out and to manage your board over the oncoming waves. My stomach muscles got quite a workout, i got a few bruises, not from falling but getting on the board. Nothing hurt, it was amazing! I got as far as hands and feet riding the waves in but didn't quite make it fully standing on just two feet, with no hands. I wanted to master it and go pro ;) but I was just too exhausted! I just wanted to go take a shower and lay down! UNtil the next time!!!

Friday, August 19, 2005

home again...what? we've been robbed???



I have returned home from an amazing journey across the US. 26 states and 3 countries in our rental ford freestar. When we get back at o dark hundred... we settle down and pass out after shaking off the constant vibration in our bodies that now seems to be permanent. Upon our awakening, we find that our quiet little home has been disrupted. We have been robbed, no forced entry, not our whole home and all it's effects but all of our dvd's and my son's video games as well as our friends dvds and video games. We had taken a few with us, so what was taken was deliberate, so as not to take empty boxes. I asked my friend, who I had left the key with if she knew anything about it and she knew nothing and had seen nothing. Before we left this person had asked to stay a few days and was supposed to be gone before we were, yet upon the time to leave things were not working out as she had anticipated and we were off. She was supposed to leave a key with my house sitter but ended up telling her she was moving in and I knew about it. So much deception was already happening and we knew of none of it. Stories were coming back about the condition of our home and yet, despite all of this... the person at my home has been a friend for many years and never would i think she would harm me. Veering away from al the specifics, I will break it down for you... trusted friend, moves in, on her own volition, makes me believe she is homeless, jobless and kicked out of her residence and I am trying to be compassionate... so I lend a hand. Now there are police reports to fill out, investigators to speak with, charges to press and lesson to learn. I am advised my the offficer I filed the report with to have a hard heart and not show compassion for the world in which we live in is callus and I will always be the victim. I tell him that I cannot live my life like that. A life without heart is not worth living, to me. I know we have been the target of another's poor intentions but a victim... i don't think so. The situation is painful and sucks but it certainly has lessons for all involved and we all have the opportunity to learn from this, if we so desire. Or, the other option is to say, "Poor me, why me....why...why...why...life is not fair...etc..." NO! life is not fair, fair doesn't enter the equation but in every situation we do have the opportunity to choose our perceptions and what we derive from our situations. It makes me sad when my son wants to see a dvd or play a video game and it has been pawned and I have been through the different levels of emotion, but i have to stop and realize there are lessons for him too. He actually is taking it pretty well, no tears but kind of matter of fact, "oh, yeah... it was stolen". To date, there is no conclusive proof that the friend "did" it but I find it hard to believe she didn't know anything about it or do it. She has looked me in the eyes on several occasion with no remorse and lied to me, so I am at a place where I believe nothing that comes out of her mouth. She either did it or had a hand in it. She was the only one here that had the time, motive and ability to do so... with the exception of the friends she allowed in the home. SO now I have to press charges against someone I care about because I HAVE TO!!! I can't enable people to continue to hurt others. Life will no doubt become more interesting as information comes in. The immediate information that has come to me already is nauseating and yet necessary for closure and to help me not feel remorse for pressing charges. I had believed in her character and was shown differently and I am not that easily fooled. I usually read people's energy very well and yet... this was allowed to happen, which further endorses my belief that it is purposeful and to be learned from.

on that note, i dug this up in my journal
November 01, 2003 - 07:29 PM
rose

I consider a rose ... this is a flower we attribute with love, passion, tenderness ... yet if you look closely it is a thorny branch, very painful if you get too close. if you look closer there is the tiny tender bud waiting to unfold an amazing creation. as it matures it's perfect. soft ... fragrant.. petals await to engage you ... eventually the petals will fall and dry and go away.... yet the beauty of the rose, the moment of it's engaging presence leaves it's memory.... yet physically, all that is left is the thorny branch.... but in the garden of my soul among all the thorny branches are always new buds of tenderness, passion, compassion, connection
and I seek to notice them and tend to them so they might flourish and unfold their magnificent gifts

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

whitney's back...in action


whitney's back
Originally uploaded by barbee.
this is my first henna tattoo after a long hiatus. I was nervous because I hadn't been drawing for several months but I had a call and needed to get those chops back up so I not feel so uneasy about accepting a job :) I know I have it in me and I know I will bring creative energy to the table when called to, yet I start that doubting my ablitites thing and then start to trip and question whether I have any talent at all. In this world of what have you done for me lately, I sometimes feel a fraud and that I will soon be discovered for my inablities. Not that I am copying another's work but that mine is really not good enough to be valuable. I then have to move on from that idea and remember that it doesn't matter who likes it or gets it but that I am expressing my creative energy... and then you know.... bizarre stuff comes in and people end up validating me, or tell me I inspire them.... and then I feel that if I can inspre just one person to express.... I have done my job.... until the next moment of self doubt, then the cycle begins again :)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

working on water






working on water
Originally uploaded by barbee.
June 12, 2005 on the road in texas
I am reflecting life with a cup of coffee…' pondering my sore back and still neck in a tub made of Epsom salts and a glorious bath mix I got from this awesome little store in San Francisco. As I lay there and tried to soak my body loose, I was drawn to my meditative state, which was well needed. It seems for me that in effort to “do” I forget my ability to BE as well. My resounding lesson for this year at least has been that I need to have faith. I am conscious and in control of my awareness. I have choices in they way I believe, and perceive, my surroundings. I have constant instruction and lessons that are available to me when I listen and take the time to be open to my world of possibilities. I can only really me responsible for the way I view my world, for it is unique to only me. I don’t think it’s wrong to share our experiences of faith yet I believe it is folly to try to convert another to my beliefs. How can I assume that I am any more worthy of a title or authority to instruct them in how to perceive their own faith? The world we share is that of community connected by thought, or spirit if you will, however you term it, it comes down to energy. At least in my world it does. Energy breaks down into static and movement and when they connect there is a reaction resulting in movement. It creates a reaction that spurs more energy off into different directions to create new moments of static and movement and so on and so on. On the level of human existence that I can perceive. We are all dual in nature, we represent the whole. We are bound by perceptions of liitations that are passed on to us as truths and we adopt them as our own. Why? It is perhaps easier to accept another’s concepts if they sound pleasing enough and not have to go through the “pain” of finding out your own truths. We try to avoid pain so generally, it’s much more of an option to choose a more pleasing and comfortable path. And there is nothing wrong with that. Pain is necessary to the process of growth, it not the only experience available but it is what is the catalyst to growth. It is up to us how we choose to perceive pain, and what we do with the result of it. Now if either of these experiences is off balance, it will lead to destruction, which is necessary for rebirth. I have taken other routes in life and they were right for then but not for now. This moment is unique and right here and holds it’s own resources for new experience. Every experience will have its cycles and opportunities to create more energy. In all these cycles, painful, happy, and full of all the scope of emotions that will serve to teach me more about the connection between my physical reality and my conscious reality. I feel responsibility to listen to my intuition. It is as just as much apart of me as my physical body, and likewise, I pay attention to my physical body as it point my in the direction of my spiritual body and it’s resource of power and energy in the manifestation of my it’s existence. If I listen to my body it will tell me of places I need to focus on in my spiritual reality to bring more balance of my polarites. If I listen to my spiritual body, it will tell me areas in my physical body that need more focus and energy to restore balance. It is my own yet part of many. I believe that without limitation, we are universal and ONE made of static and flow. I cannot separate myself from my existence. I am experiencing a physical reality and learning how to live in that reality so on the balance, I also experience my spirit reality or conscious realities and the result of their merging is a charge emitting more energy. And it goes on and on until it doesn’t. But to keep the balance, it does, the realities only change to a new experience. Each new experience is necessary; they all hold their own purpose.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

on the road again!




« Thread Started on Jun 7, 2005, 12:06pm »
i am on the road again yet this time it is with my family.
5 of us on the open road. In one day, less than 24 hours we were in florida, alabama, mississippi, louisiana, stayed in ticfaw state park and then off to houston, la grange and now austin. we will stay in a state park there and then head to dallas for a week. can't wait to post some pics, so many sites to see, and lots of lessons in communication and patience. We are all travelling in a ford freestar like a dodge caravan and it is proving to be quite interesting, but wonderful experience!
xo
b

Friday, May 06, 2005

i have been kicked out of better places than this!








« Thread Started on May 6, 2005, 1:50am »
So, that bad girl of body art shows up to her mmuseum show this evening with model in tow, assistants andpress and oodles of friends and as we enter the museum, noone seems to know why we are there? No stage is set and everyone has a screwy look on their face. Finally the coordinator is reached and she ap[ologizes profusely, as she had sent an email that I didn't get, somehow, but it seems, as soon as my name was mentioned, there was a veto. Interestingly enough, I was soehow not amazed. I had performed there twice before and the second time the paper came and did a two page story on me and evidently it pissed the museum officials off. Apperantly, the Kate, my wonderful reporter had expressed her thoughts, and it was unfavorable in their eyes, so I have been black listed.Awesome! I was kickedout of a scheduled show in an art museum, and I had the most amazing piece of art to date, waiting to amaze and transform.... but that couldn'thappen because musem big whigs were going to be there and heads would roll if I was allowed to stay. So, I was absolutely NOT going to not shoot this awesome josephine baker incarnate and we called my friends from Snack Daddy and Funkus playing at Hard Rock Live and got a private escort into the club and did our performance on stage with the bands. IT WAS SO AMAZINGLY HOT!!!!!!!! Oh my god! it simply rocked. The bands were totally taken back with what we brought on and it was magical! I was finishing Shemia up and then was all over the stage, on the floor, through the speakers shooting the most amazing shots! It was cinqo de mayo and we had these bright and beautiful colors with feathers and pearls and josephine baker was truely in the house tonight!. Every article she wore I had crafted, from earrings to anklets her entire body of art I had applied and then she owned it and rocked it! She was so the part, and then was dancing on stage, interacting with the band and it was the most amazing thing ever!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

waisted


waisted1
Originally uploaded by barbee.
I went to Miami to do make up for a ujena swimwear shoot. I drove 5 hours down there, worked all day until 4 am. I managed to squeeze in my own shooting, which made the models happy, cause they liked the images and used them for their portfolios. We shot in the Four Seasons Hotel from a penthouse and it was exquisite. This shot happened as Sadie was putting on her wrap to go out to the beach to shoot and I yelled, "STOP!"... which I do quite a bit when I see something I want to capture.... and it has been one of my most viewed shots. It does look like a swimwear tag, eh?
The whole shoot was pretty cool, Miami is such a bizarre place, similar to New York, but more art deco and warmer. It doesn't have the corporate feel of NYC but you have the mix of culture,crime, great food, poverty and extreme wealth. There are also beautiful people, scantily clad everywhere. I found that there was no shortage of things to photograph as the architecture is very unique as well.
It's always an event working with models and photographers...or let's say the fashion industry. There is no standard behavior among them. In an office job there is a certain protocol,you might say and people generally go by those boundaries with their behavior despite their personality differences. In the field of fashion, there may be professional expectations but they all really go out the window. I have found there to always be some drama queen/king in shoots and it always cracks me up how people bitch and complain and feed a situation so much negative energy. I mostly don't let it affect me but like to observe. On occasion, if I have had enough, I will offer a nugget of positivity or offering another perspective.
I would say, for the most part, all the models I work on have been pretty patient, it really does require a lot of patience to sit for me for one of my pieces. They soon learn that if they want to have me do my thing, they are going to be pawed at for several hours. It always comes out awesome, though and totally worth it.